Is this thing on?
*blows dust off blog*
I haven’t posted since January. Why? I felt like I didn’t have anything to say, which leads to another “Why?”. Because I was hurting.
Last year I filmed a video entitled “Dear God Where’s My Baby?” in which I poured my heart out about the struggle I was having in waiting on God’s perfect timing to open my womb. Can I be honest? After the video things got really bad. I did and said some things that I’m not proud of. I lived in a tormented state of confusion as the doctors reported that they found NOTHING wrong with my husband and I. On many days I wondered if it was possible for my hurt to sink lower. I found out it was as I sat on the couch one day with tears streaming down my face as I told my husband I no longer had the desire to live. More tears stream down as I type this, because I can’t believe how low I was.