for the love of mississippi. part i.

I remember when I told my mothers side of the family that I’d accepted an internship with Dr. John Perkins and had to relocate to Jackson, Mississippi for one year. Some questioned if this Chicago girl would adjust to seeing chickens crossing the road. I told them I’d give it a try. I’m ashamed at how ignorant we were of the state that I now reverence as the foundation of my lineage. However, I would later discover that my paternal side of the family carried our roots with us from the South to the North often referring to ourselves as “Mississippi Mud”. Read More…

An Open Apology to Mary J. Blige

2018 may go down as the most successful year Mary J. Blige has ever had – career wise. The “Real Love” singer kicked off the year being honored with a star on Hollywood Walk of Fame, which if you ask me was long overdue. Two months later she was nominated for TWO Oscar’s for Best Supporting Actress (Mudbound) and Best Original Song in 2018 (Mudbound), becoming the first person nominated for an Academy Award for acting and song in the same year. I must also mention that Blige has been nominated for 31 Grammy’s of which she has had the pleasure of taking home 9. On any given day she’s every Black woman hair and body goals, and BFF crush. While her singing voice may always be the focus of a heated debate at the family reunion every year, Blige has still captured the hearts of millions of fans proving there’s just something about Mary. Read More…

Strong Enough To Bear the Children & Get Back To Business: Cruising In LA With Mitsubishi

“I’d be starving if I ate all the lies they fed.” -India Arie

If we’re honest society usually inundates us with the things we can no longer do once we become parents. This is especially true for moms who plan to pursue other endeavors outside of raising children. While some points are valid, I am determined to set my own limits and rise to my own expectations. This is why last month I traveled to La La Land for a work/fun trip. Read More…

I Got the Part! : Come See Me in “Comfort Stew”

Well, I guess I can finally say it, but this time with confidence:

I’m an actress!

If you’ve been following my journey you know that 2018 is a year of me pursuing my God given purpose of acting. Last month I auditioned for the eta theatre production of “Comfort Stew” directed by Cheryl Lynn Bruce. While driving to a meeting in LA to discuss a pilot I created I got a phone call saying I was casted as the role of Alfreda. Needles to say I walked into that meeting feeling like a slightly younger Kerry Washington. Read More…

I Produced & Acted In “The Black Monologues”: I’m Back!

Me looking on like a proud Mama Bear.

Ya’ll already know the story. If not, here’s the quick version:

All my life I wanted to act. *Miss Sophia voice*

Immediately following high school  I went to Columbia College Chicago. My major was Theatre.

I dropped out after one semester, because the way my bank account was set up…

I continued to act until I was about 25-years-old, but my dream slowly became a dream deferred.

Summer 2017 I had a “come to Jesus” moment and realized God put the dream of acting inside of me to pursue.

I’m back.

Yes I produced AND acted in “The Black Monologues” 12 weeks after giving birth. My ancestors would be so proud of me. Read More…

Once Upon a Summer in Chicago When Everybody Was Alive #Summer17Writing

nikkichicago

As a child the last day of school was always the best day of my life after Christmas.

It would begin in late spring when summer would tease us with the glory of what was to come. When bubble coats and wools hats no longer served their purpose. We’d shed off our extra layers and run out to recess. Spring fever was at an all time high as teachers and students struggled to finish the year strong. The last school bell on the last day of school signified that we’d made it. Grey skies, snowstorms, and freezing temperatures were officially a thing of the past. Our future was bright with summer camp, bussing open the fire hydrant, choke sandwiches, chasing ice cream truck, pickles & sunflower seeds, a family trip down South, and the grand finale would be the Bud Biliken Parade.

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I’m Hurting And God Still Wants To Use Me

goldjapan

“In Japan, broken objects are often repaired with gold. The flaw is seen as a unique piece of the object’s history, which adds to its beauty.” -Unknown Photo Source: Pinterest

*taps mic*

Is this thing on?

*blows dust off blog*

I haven’t posted since January. Why? I felt like I didn’t have anything to say, which leads to another “Why?”. Because I was hurting.

Last year I filmed a video entitled “Dear God Where’s My Baby?” in which I poured my heart out about the struggle I was having in waiting on God’s perfect timing to open my womb. Can I be honest? After the video things got really bad. I did and said some things that I’m not proud of. I lived in a tormented state of confusion as the doctors reported that they found NOTHING wrong with my husband and I. On many days I wondered if it was possible for my hurt to sink lower. I found out it was as I sat on the couch one day with tears streaming down my face as I told my husband I no longer had the desire to live. More tears stream down as I type this, because I can’t believe how low I was.

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I’m Officially A Filmmaker & Why I Can’t Be Silent Anymore: Life Update

nikkiblack

I’m alive and my hope has been restored.

In early December I felt like I had nothing to look forward to. I won’t go into the details of everything, but just know it was bad. “Good Morning Heartache” was my theme song. Blue was the color of life. I was grieving. What exactly? Everything I felt like I lost. I had little desire to live, because I didn’t see my purpose. But I also had no desire to die. So I just existed. Read More…